I look in the mirror.
I lament the many scars.
Especially the one my baby calls scary.
I stretch the creases dug deep into the corner of my eyes.
Somehow thinking it might make them lessen…
But know they will only get deeper.
I frown at the extra padding the month has added.
From surgical recovery and holiday indulgence.
I look at it all in great disdain.
Until I see it sitting in the corner.
The purple and pink comeuppance that sits quietly.
In all its caned and assistive glory,
Waiting for me to “get” the perspective it brings.
So I stare at its reflection for a moment.
Before I slowly turn around to see it truly.
And in that break between reflection and reality, I hear this,
“I see you, sister.
I see you looking at your reflection and latching on to self-loathing.
I see it plainly.
I see it in all its intrusive ugliness.
And I am here to say loudly and forcefully,
‘KNOCK IT THE HOOT OFF.’
You are a warrior.
You have birthed babies and lost babies.
You have touched death momentarily.
And fought back to life again.
You have had more CT’s than dental x-rays.
You have had more ER visits than vacations.
You have a machine that makes your body function.
Implanted in that scar that seems scary.
You survived a stroke.
You fought through recovery.
Not once but twice and still.
You live with chronic, everyday pain.
You kick it in the can every time you refuse to give up.
You are a mama.
You mother, you love, you carry.
Even with all the stuff that weighs you down.
You fight like a freaking boss.
Through unexpectedly dumb surgeries.
Just so you can sip hot cocoa with little hands in yours.
And eat psychedelic colored sugar cookies made just for you.
The sweet little things that may give you extra padding.
But also give you a little more life in the crazy.
You are a fighter, a warrior and a survivor, girl.
So act like it.
Raise your head high, today.
Stop hating the very things that tell your story.
Start thanking Jesus for the shell that has carried you this far.
And make your journey about function, not vanity.
See the beautiful.
Make everyday an opportunity to use what is someday dust.
In honor of those who can’t.
Be it legs or arms or feet or hands.
Because the reality is, what you think is ugly,
They see as beautiful.
So rock it, girl.
Rock the scars.
Rock the wrinkles.
Rock the hitch in your step.
Because when Jesus looks at you?
He sees beautiful too.”